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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically succeeded by a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits on the internet – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had already reached that understanding on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

While people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception associated with the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people found to have the condition are males, research suggests this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” notes an individual who posts about her co-occurring conditions on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I completely shut down.” Even with this response – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, he was directed to a mental health professional for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a few individuals about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the presence of NPD content creators and the development of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number